It seems our country, and perhaps the world, has lost it’s mind. There is murder of babies being delighted in, murder of children’s innocence being delighted in, murder of police being delighted in, promiscuity and adultery being delighted in. There are terrorists walking our streets who are delighted in and violent youth being delighted in. Sin has crept in and has now become a loud voice of delight instead of outrage. And I am a bigot for being appalled. I am narrow-minded, uneducated and racist. I find myself in awe of the foolishness and lack of leadership surrounding us. I find myself constantly at a battle between righteous anger and the enemy’s anger.
I am outraged. I am grieved. I am disappointed. And I am quite shocked these days.
But the Bible promises me these things will happen. I am not talking end times or the return of Jesus. I am simply talking about the fact that the world has never thought like Jesus. The world has never bowed it’s knee to the Creator. Believers have always been bigots in the eyes of the world… so why am I so shocked? Why am I caught off guard by the schemes of the enemy? Maybe because I have become too comfortable? Maybe because I am American and thought I was in a bubble that could never be popped? That is probably part of it. But I think the enemy has bigger plans than destroying a country.
The enemy has bigger plans than taking physical territory. He wants spiritual territory. The physical is just a means to the spiritual. So I guess it’s not that I am in such shock about what the world is accepting, I am more shocked at myself.
I find myself in such shock of how my own heart wants to react to the recent news stories. My first reaction seems to be anger these days. Not God’s anger, but the world’s anger. There is a difference. I am shocked at the words I want to say and the thoughts I am having to push away. I am in shock of the inner battle between what my flesh sees and what God sees. I have found myself in shock of how easily the enemy has been able to taunt me.
But the other day God reminded me of a simple truth.
He reminded me that I am the biggest threat to the enemy’s plans. Believers are the biggest threat . While others are sadly veiled pawns in his game, I am a city set upon a hill. I am a beacon of light because the truth dwells in me. The enemy mocks me to get a rise out of me, to make me look like the rest of the world. The enemy taunts me to hear the words he knows he can get me to say if I am not standing under the wing of my Savior. He cannot have me fully, so he will seek to steal what he can (John 10:10). My peace, my brightness, my joy.
And when I allow the enemy to take these things from me, I have allowed a part of my light to fade. I have allowed the enemy to take spiritual territory from me. Even in moments where no one else can hear or no one else can see me, I stand before God and Satan- just as the people who I see doing so much wrong on earth. Both are before me, waiting for me to pick which one I will grab hold of and follow. I will admit, there have been more times than I would like to say these past few weeks that I have grabbed the wolf clothed in sheepskin. I have found myself fearful, angry, and offended. Wanting injustice served at the hands of man, instead of at the hands of God. I have wanted immediate, severe punishment instead of souls saved. (I am not saying punishment is not called for, but my heart has been wanting vengeance instead of justice).
But when God reminded me the other day that I am a threat to the enemy, I realized that He was really trying to show me what a powerful tool I am for the Kingdom. I am more than a lowly human beneath my God. I am a daughter, made in His image to protect, bring life and uphold the righteous truth that has been given to all who will receive. I am an heir and am royalty. I am a daughter to the King. It is time I started acting like who He has made me. It is time I respect, with the highest regard, who He is and who that makes me. He has made me with a spirit of power, of love and of self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). He did not give me a spirit of anger, of harshness or fear. That is what the enemy gives freely, not Jesus. There are only the two to pick from, there is no in between no matter how my flesh can justify my feelings.
I have come to realize in the last few days that although I am saved, I am easily conformed to the world’s anger and the world’s division. And when I act like this I have become a slave robbed of all freedom. There is no freedom in anger or offense. There is no freedom in chains and shackles. There is only a flickering light of what once was. And the enemy finds me right where he wanted me. When I stop acting like royalty, I become slave. I become paralyzed instead of profitable in His will. When I forget that the power of self-control abides in me, I am disrespecting the blood that has been shed for me. The blood my Father washed me clean with. The blood I find myself so upset that the world is disrespecting.
I am understanding that just because I love Jesus, does not give me the right to disrespect those He loves. In fact, as I disrespect, gossip and hold in contempt those who He loves, I have relinquished a jewel from my crown. He loves all and desires all to come to Him. He is saddened by those who spit on His name, but He loves them. He grieves for them. He gave Himself for them, just as He did me. His love is not driven by feelings, but by steadfastness, by courage and by truth. The only way to love one another is to stand by these same things. This doesn’t mean I need to agree or condone or go unheard, but my words and my actions must be seasoned with the righteous salt that He has sprinkled upon me for such a time as this. My lips should only speak of His will be done on earth as it is in heaven- even when it seems no one is looking. Anything added from my flesh is the enemy taunting me and dulling me. Trying to get any part of me to conform like those around.
I may fail at times, but I will not be left defeated. My light will not be dimmed and follow suit with the world. I will not go to Heaven a slave to the enemy’s schemes and live angry and disheartened on this earth. I will live by the victories that He has placed before me and will hold fast to the hands that reach out for Him. I will walk in the works that He has laid on my path. I will remember the power in me is worth protecting and preserving for generations to come. I will pass on peace, joy and steadfast love. I must stand righteously and bravely in the name I have been given even when the world taunts me with it’s schemes. I am a child of God. I must honor all of what that means. I must honor the name He has given me. He has named me daughter.
“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” (Romans 8:16-17)