I am gonna say it. Our country has gone crazy. Each day the foolishness of man brings death, destruction and depravity of the very cause they think they stand for. And it grieves my heart to a point of utter confusion. How? Why? What are people thinking?
There is an anger in our nation and across the world that is violently making it’s way into the heart of man. Consuming all it entangles. And the casualties are growing daily. Again… how? Why? What are people thinking?
I find myself inwardly shaking my fist and cursing the men and women who stand for abomination and bloodshed. Those who defy what is right and what is good. And when I see my heart laid upon the floor, I see that I am no different. I ask myself how? Why? What am I thinking?
How do I separate the flesh from what is holy? Why can I not find the love for people to see eternity instead of the present? What am I holding within me that causes me to see what my eyes see, instead of the pain brewing deep within humanity?
Why does my heart struggle to love those who do not love Him?
Just because the love of God surrounds me, does not mean I am above the love that I am called to give. There are roots that God is wanting His people to grab hold of and rip from the source. But I cannot reach the source if I am wanting to feed the source. I can prune the evil, pull it from the top and look like a good Christian who loves their God. But at any moment, if the right circumstance falls upon this soil, the evil that lies just below the surface will spring up.
The anger of the world.
The anger that fills the world has subtly crept into my thoughts… into my heart. And it is creeping through the Christian culture. The horrific tragedy of last night and many over the months have proven that I am not alone. I see it and hear it all over. “I am praying for our nation, but I will unfriend you if…” “If you have a problem with Jesus then…” “Anger feeds anger and if you don’t get that then you should…”
You see, we start off right. We start with the love of God and that Jesus is the answer… but then we add to it as if that is not enough. As if anger is a necessary force to make a valid point. We feed the very source that we look to rid. We pull the weed with our words of Jesus and then fertilize the soil by adding the anger that is within us, and a new crop awaits to grow. We become a casualty of the enemy’s anger, instead of a cause for the truth of Jesus.
God is looking and searching for a people who can hold their tongue. Who can hold their flesh in order to conform their anger into a righteous anger. A righteous anger seeks to destroy an enemy by saving lives, not fueling souls into the fire. A righteous anger holds honor in the midst of being mocked. A righteous anger can pull a root from it’s source.
But a righteous anger does not come without seeking God first. And I am finding that seeking God before I speak or act means that sometimes I have nothing to say at all… for a long time. And the more I am practicing this, the more I see it’s better to have nothing to say than to fertilize the soil that evil springs forth from. It is better to be mocked in silence than to be mocked in anger. I find myself thinking of Jesus. Taunted. Beaten. Mocked beyond measure. He stayed silent- seeking His Father for the words to say. He had none. There were no words.
How? Why? What was Jesus thinking?
Today, I will ask myself these questions before I allow my thoughts to become a weapon for the enemy. How did Jesus have nothing to say? Why did He have nothing to say? What must He have been thinking? He held honor in the midst of the world’s anger and won eternity by His obedience. His actions were led by a holy silence. A boldness I am praying to have.
“Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.” (Psalm 4:4-5)